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All tables should be completely cleared before presenting the check. I’m going back to my virtual managers test at Starbucks dot com. Or in other words: I am beginning to look older then Dick Clark. She softly took my hand holding it like one would hold a baby canary inhaling it’s first new breath of life. Later she admitted to me that she was the heiress to Von Grothensteinberg petroleum fortune and all of her billions would be my billions someday. To my astonishment I made only one computer entry mistake (as opposed to my usual 6 or 7). So I ask skinny buser girl Cindy or Mindy or Mandy or whatever she is calling herself these days (she is about 12 years old at best or I’m really getting old because everyone is looking 12 years old to me these days) to help me.

This is a violation of restaurant policy and is punishable by a 90 minute water-boarding in the walk in box. There are many ways to mentally combat getting old. But when I look in the mirror I am reminded daily that I am withering into Geezerhood. She snuggled close to me and whispered and cooed into my ear. She nibbled at my ear lobe and told me she wanted to have children with me. Then ,just like a romantic passage from Tender is the Night, she again brushed her sweet warm lips against mine and peered into my eyes and told me she loved me. Um, next week I’ll tell you how come I am not Napa Valley’s worst waiter any more and more about those super models. Also, during the course of the evening, I managed to bring the correct silverware to everyone (I’m very proud I brought a soup spoon to the person eating soup at table 5 seat 3 … Eventually I give them the check and joke that I will never give her grilled onions on her burger ever again. Without any previous instructions from MPH – ever – she figures it out instantly, corrects and fixes all my mistakes (she is doing this while listening to her i-pod and I also have no idea how i-pods work) and I take the checks to the guests.

We sponsor parties every week of the year, at different locations around the San Francisco Bay Area more…

Featuring a staggering 20,000-square-foot five bedroom, six full and five half bathrooms main house and a four bedroom guest house, the 'ranch' as Robin called it, had provided a hideaway from Hollywood for the star.

I notice, as I walk away, that everyone is switching plates around. Don’t they know I flunked Algebra II in high school? The consequences can’t be any worse then the 90-minute water boarding I got last week for violating manager rule # 3856. Of course if you look closely, you can also clearly see that I was scheduled to be the manager tonight, but that entry was now crossed off. Meantime the owner is at the next computer and he is placing his order with the ease of a KY Jellyied pee pee (I’m not good at analogies) and I am staring at the screen wondering where the hell is the “extra onions” button for the burger order for the woman at position three. Poopyhead (the restaurant owner’s nickname his employees affectionately have bestowed on him) is going to ask me what is taking me so long to place my order and I have visions of green vile bile blasting out of my mouth, (‘ala Megan in the Exorcist) all over the wanker’s polyester pink polka-dot shirt.

After I clear the dishes from the table they order a latte and a cup of chino and some English tea to go with their one order of molten chocolate cake. I drink coffee black and have no idea what a latte is (which should make my career at Starbucks a tad bit of a challenge). But luckily the computer has a button called: “Split Check” and I allow the computer to do its thing. all I can think is – what could I possibly have forgotten this time to make him ask me: Naturally, I go into panic mode. Just as I find the “extra onions button” MPH turns to me and coldly asks me what am I doing, and oh crap how I hate swallowing almost puke, and I answer him by mumbling something about concentrating on my order showing what a good employee I am, which I am not, and I walk away from the computer hoping I got at least 75% of the order for table 12 correct. I forgot to give them ketchup and mustard for their burgers. I think I got the burger orders right (all the correct types of cheeses, who got fries and which fries were to be extra crispy and who ordered their burgers rare and who ordered them well done).

Sean was celebrating Minka Kelly's 35th birthday, along with 3 other people. people at other tables heard Sean tell the other 3 he and Minka met at a Haiti charity event.

They had a feast to end all, with a chicken with the feet still attached, truffle mac and cheese and a birthday cake.

While at first glance the Villa Sorriso - Villa of Smiles - looks like any other mansion with its blend of understated furnishings coupled with antiques, on closer inspections Robin's touches can be seen everywhere.Sean Penn and Charlize Theron called it quits just 2 weeks ago, and he's already doing his laundry with another hot chick.These pics were taken last Tuesday at French Laundry, the uber-fancy/delicious/exclusive restaurant in the Napa Valley.I think It would be very nice of you to talk to him next time you see him and tell him how you feel. Go see him, give him a quickie BJ, then ask him for a loan so you can buy some crank and get an abortion. Just then he turns to me (as I predicted) and asks me what am I doing, and oh crap how I hate swallowing puke, and I answer him by mumbling something about concentrating on my order to show what a good employee I am, which I am not, and I walk away from the computer hoping I got at least 75% of the order for table 12 correct. I forgot to give them ketchup and mustard for their burgers. Did I miss it while trying to look busy last night? Then I think: Holy Batmobile – I will have to work with Mr. Suddenly I get religion and start shouting: “Thank You Jesus -Thank you Jesus! Saturday we are busy and I already have a party of eight and two parties of six and my section has ten tables in it. Sigh, this is the life of Napa Valleys worst waiter.Hopefully the conversation will go well and you’ll make a new friend. Like any other red blooded Amercian male, he’s thinking he’s going to get laid . He probably won’t bother you no more after that Yo, Stabby Sent from my i Pad Yesterday I applied online for a managers job at Starbucks in beautiful downtown Santa Rosa, CA. I forgot to give them a sharp knife for the flat iron steak. PH that is so intense and evil, it causes my left eye to gyrate wildly ‘ala Petey in The Little Rascals. “Yes” he says as he motions for me to walk over to the bar to look at the schedule. PH all night because Amanda, the new manager, doesn’t start till tomorrow. Yesterday I went to take an order for a table of three realizing too late when I got there that I had forgotten my notepad and I now I had to memorize everything they ordered including appetizers, main courses, wines by the glass, and who ordered extra mushrooms and what kind of cheeses they want on their burgers (cheddar, blue and I can’t remember the last varietal – but I’m sure its not cottage).

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