We typically set the stakes too high, and centuries worth of societal tropes and expectations can cripple the authenticity of our interactions.
Despite the romantic promise of most dating sites, the likelihood of discovering that your internet date is truly compatible with you across all major dimensions of compatibility is quite low.
The friendship-first approach centers around sharing fun and memorable experiences with the people we meet, and seeking to learn their stories and their preferences, free of any overtly sexual or romantic expectations.
Sex and romance can definitely still happen in the context of friendship-first dating, but they are never assumed or expected, and the top priority is always to understand and validate someone’s existing preferences and goals rather than imposing your own goals and expectations upon them.
The next week, I hosted a board game night and invited her so she could meet some of my friends.
Both online and offline, friends provide instant validation and accountability.
It’s why wing[wo]men are so amazing to have around.
The most effective strategy for finding a good relationship is thus to optimize dating sites for finding Friends understand our needs, become invested in our story, and enthusiastically introduce us to more of their friends.
As an online dating consultant and matchmaker, I’m a strong believer in the power of these referral networks.