You are evidence of his avoiding dealing with unpleasant situations head on. Having to keep your relationship a secret can attack your self-esteem and cause you to miss out on one of the wonderful aspects of a relationship. He has a legitimate married relationship that helps his public persona and he has an illegitimate one with you to make up for what heâs missing in his marriage. Even though he's the one that made it difficult to say "No." And even though he tells you how wonderful you are. Many men (and women) have difficulty accepting full responsibility for their deceitful actions.
This means that he's likely to resort to some devious behavior with you if the two of you encounter relationship problems. Walking together freely and radiantly through the world can fill you with the glow of being with someone who is proud to be with you. As appreciative as he sounds, many women who are involved with married men come to resent his having the best of both worlds, when she has the least. Can you love someone who is so disrespectful of his wife? At some level, he's going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such a flawed relationship. Despite his reassuring you how much you mean to him, his not ending his relationship with his wife in an above-board and respectful way -- and not beginning a legitimate relationship with you -- are actions that speak louder than words. Human nature finds it easier to blame than to accept shame. Ever notice how quickly the years go as you get older?
(c) Mark Goulston Blog Author, you take an almost too extreme stand against affairs.
I have a very good reason for dating a married man...we're in love. That the wife has not to face questions of her neighbors?
Subject: Inside the mind of a Cakeman (married lover/cheating husband) You took interview of a Mistress/ Other woman "Inside the Mind of a Mistress" . I don't understand why it's so hard to just keep a commitment. Can't people wait 5 years if it means sticking to your commitment? Life time commitments and working at a relationship are going the way of the dinosaur. There is an excellent book out by Dan Ariely, Predictably Irrational and in one it's chapters it describes a study that he did that shows how dramatically your decision making is affected when you are aroused. That the wife has not to face questions of her neighbors?
I also read hundred articles about mistress and other woman. Moreover, what is it with people who want to have their cake, etc, etc? The bottom line here is a relationship of infidelity based upon deceit and lying, hardly the foundation for starting a healthy relationship with someone new. I would like to ask your opinion of a married man who is only interested in his wives girlfriends. That the children has not to be asked in the school by their classmates and friends? Why should only the mistress/other woman be exposed and being asked always? A mistress also is a daughter of someone, a sister, she also belongs to a family.
The existence of your relationship with a married man tells you how little he respects his wife by lying to her instead of being a man and telling her he wants out. Like the Groucho Marx joke, "He may not want to be of a relationship that would have him as a partner." 7. Like it or not, you are a willing participant in a man violating his vows and betraying the trust of his wife -- not to mention grossly disappointing his children and making it difficult for them to see him as a role model. If he is caught by his wife or conscience, don't be surprised if he tries to blame you and get you to take the fall. Because it's convenient and comfortable, a relationship with a married man can go on for a long time -- and before you know it, eat up the precious time you might have had in a healthy relationship with a chance of flourishing.
When people who have been involved with married men finally move on, they often regret having wasted the time in a dead-end affair.
I am ashamed I was in this relationship and it will be a while until I am ready and healthy to be a suitable partner in a relationship. If however you check out the 109 comments ( on this blog when it appeared at another site I am associated with, you'll see how much an exception to the rule you fortunately are. I think that people who make commitments and don't keep them (and they try to justify them on PT) are delusional and selfish. I read somewhere that it takes the average "troubled" marriage just 5 years to work itself out. Peple want want instant gratification when they want and whenever they want it. Most people want to do life easy (no effort/instant gratification) rather than doing life right(effort/work/eventually long term gratification and success). But the reality is that in a high percentage of the cases these 'relationships' don't work out long term. He would be with me when his kids started school again. He talked of long-term dreams, about our future house and trips we would take and having kids eventually. I became a Monday through Friday, nine to five girlfriend. We were together nearly every day, as together as a hidden relationship allows you to be. I sat by, clinging to hope, and watched him as he bought new furniture with his wife. He hired a landscaper and started repairs on his house. It happened before we were each separated/divorced. That the children has not to be asked in the school by their classmates and friends? Why should only the mistress/other woman be exposed and being asked always? A mistress also is a daughter of someone, a sister, she also belongs to a family.We were both in overbearing, underloving marriages. The cakeman is also liable to answer back and give explanation of why he does this. Why only the Mistress/ Other woman should hurt always? You appear to be unaware of the myriad ways in which dating a married man (or woman) can be just fine.